October is Domestic Violence Awareness
Month. Here are some Warning Signs of an Abusive Person.
1. Jealousy and Possessiveness.
Wants to be with you constantly. Accuses you of cheating all the time. Follows
you around and frequently calls. Asks friends to check up on you.
2. Controlling Behavior.
Constantly questions who you spend your time with, what you did/wore/said,
where you went. Makes you ask permission to do certain things. Acts like you
don’t have the ability to make good decisions. Hides controlling behavior by
pretending to be concerned for your safety.
3. Quick Involvement. Six
months or less before living together or engaged. Claims love at first sight.
Pressure for commitment. Says you are the only one who can make him feel this
way.
4. Unrealistic Expectations.
Compliments you in a way that makes you seems superhuman. Over-flattering.
Expects you to be perfect. Says, "I am all you need. You are all I
need."
5. Isolation. Puts down
everyone you know- friends are either stupid, slutty, or you are cheating with
them- family is too controlling, doesn’t really love you, or you are too
dependent on them. Refuses to let you use car or talk on phone. Makes it
difficult for you to go to work or school. Tries to cut off all your resources.
6. Blames Others for Problems.
If there are problems at school or work, it is always someone else’s fault. If
anything goes wrong in the relationship, it is all your fault. Won’t take
responsibility for own behavior.
7. Blames Others for Feelings.
Tries to make you responsible for how they feel. "You’re making me
mad." "You’re hurting me by not doing what I ask." "I can’t
help being angry." Won’t take responsibility for own feelings.
8. Hypersensitivity. Easily
insulted. Sees everything as a personal attack. Looks for fights. Blows things
out of proportion. Unpredictable. You can never tell what will upset him.
9. Disrespectful or Cruel to
Others. Punishes animals or children cruelly. Insensitive to pain and
suffering. Teases children until they cry. Doesn’t treat others with respect.
Dismissive of others’ feelings.
10. "Playful" Use of
Force During Sexual Activity. Little concern over whether you want sex or
not, and uses sulking or anger to manipulate you into compliance. Makes sexual
or degrading jokes about you.
11. Verbal Abuse of Any Kind.
12. Rigid Sex Roles. Believes
women are inferior to men. Unable to be a whole person without a relationship.
13. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
Sudden mood changes- like they have two personalities. One minute nice, next
minute exploding. One minute happy, next minute sad.
14. Past Battering. You may
hear the person was abusive to someone else. They say it’s a lie, or their ex
was "crazy," or it wasn’t that bad.
15. Threats of Any Kind.
16. Breaking or Striking
Objects. Breaks loved possessions. Beats on table with fists. Throws
objects.
17. Any Force During an
Argument. Pushes, shoves, or physically restrains you from leaving room.
18. Doesn’t Respect Your
Property or Privacy.
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