Dealing with Anger – How Do Your Respond?

After looking around at them (the Pharisees) with anger, grieved at their hardness of heart, He (Jesus) said to the man, "Stretch out your hand." And he stretched it out, and his hand was restored. Mark 3:5  

Once again we see that Jesus experienced anger. This time He quietly dealt with His anger and healed a man’s hand, knowing that it would displease the Pharisees for that action to take place on the Sabbath. There are many ways to deal with anger. Jesus righteous cleansing of the Temple, as in yesterday’s blog, in John 2:14-18, was primarily a negative unpleasant action as He overturned tables and drove the money changers and animal sellers, along with their livestock, out of the Temple. Jesus’ response to His anger in the healing of this man’s hand is a much more positive action.  

Dr. Ross Campbell, author of How to Really Love Your Child and How to Really Your Teen, developed the Anger Ladder which emphasizes dealing with anger is acceptable ways and improving ways to address anger in relationships. The goal is to go from negative ways of dealing with anger to the most positive way. Dr. Campbell pointed out that training a child or teen to do this can take years of work by the parents. It is not an easy overnight endeavor, but it is worth it to endure and encourage the child as they develop into a mature person. Of course, as always, the parent has to be the example along the way. How do you deal with anger? 

The Anger Ladder

POSITIVE

1. Pleasant, seeking resolution, focusing anger on source, holding to primary complaint, thinking logically
2. Pleasant, focusing anger on source, holding to primary complaint, thinking logically.

POSITIVE;  NEGATIVE

3. Focusing anger on source, holding to primary complaint, thinking logically; unpleasant, loud
4. Holding to primary complaint, thinking logically; unpleasant, loud, displacing anger to other sources
5. Focusing anger on source, holding to primary complaint; unpleasant, loud, verbal abuse
6. Thinking logically; unpleasant, loud, displacing anger to other sources, expressing unrelated complaints.

PRIMARILY NEGATIVE

7. Unpleasant, loud, displacing anger to other sources, expressing unrelated complaints, verbal abuse, emotionally destructive behavior
8. Unpleasant, loud, displacing anger to other sources, expressing unrelated complaints, verbal abuse, emotionally destructive behavior, verbal abuse
9. Unpleasant, loud, displacing anger to other sources, expressing unrelated complaints, verbal abuse, emotionally destructive behavior, verbal abuse, cursing
10. Focusing anger on source; unpleasant, loud, cursing, displacing anger to other sources, throwing objects, emotionally destructive behavior
11. Unpleasant, loud, cursing, displacing anger to other sources, throwing objects, emotionally destructive behavior.

NEGATIVE:

12. Focusing anger on source, unpleasant, loud, cursing, destroying property, verbal abuse, emotionally destructive behavior
13. Unpleasant, loud, cursing, displacing anger to other sources, destroying property, verbal abuse, emotionally destructive behavior
14. Unpleasant, loud, cursing, displacing anger to other sources, destroying property, verbal abuse, physical abuse, emotionally destructive behavior
15. Passive-aggressive behavior 

RSVP: How will you respond to Jesus as you deal with angry situations in your own life? 

Prayer~ Lord Jesus, help me to deal with anger in a constructive, not destructive way, and to be a good example to my children and grandchildren—as well as my friends and neighbors.

 © 2014 by Mickey M. Hunacek. All rights reserved.

All scripture quoted from the New American Standard Bible (NASB) unless otherwise noted.