April 28 – Self Control or Uncontrolled

Like a city that is broken into and without walls is a man who has no control over his spirit.  Proverbs 25:28

Self control over one’s thoughts, words and actions is the result of self control over one’s spirit. Being in God’s will and controlled by the Holy Spirit gives strength to ones’ inner convictions. Uncontrolled behavior in children or adults not acceptable—and it might even be downright scary. Everyone at one time or another has seen someone pitch a fit—have a meltdown or temper tantrum. Different eras call them by different names—but they are the same—uncontrolled behavior. God wants us to control our behavior by giving Him the trials, temptations and frustrations in our lives. As we turn over these things, God will give us peace, joy and strength. Easily said, but not so easy to do.   

Training Tip – How do you teach your children not to throw a temper tantrum? Do they just want their way—their own selfish rebellious way or are they frustrated because they cannot express themselves yet with words? What two-year old hasn’t had a meltdown in the grocery store after a long time of shopping? Life is sometimes just challenging—but as they live through stuff they learn that life isn’t just about them. The best way to deal with tantrums is to remain calm. Here are four things you can do:

-          Prayer is important—talk to Jesus.

-          Cultivate “the look” so that your children know they must obey you right then.  Command respect.

-          Tell your children exactly what you expect and intend—training them in what God expects (Deut. 21: 18, 21; Prov. 20:20; Lev. 20:9; Gal. 6:7; Prov. 17:25; Prov. 29:15; Heb. 12:9; Exod. 20:12; Heb. 12:11). If this is a new thing for you all then let them know that everyone starts with a clean slate. Don’t make the children promise to “be good.”

-          Do what you said you would do—follow through with discipline as necessary. Otherwise you have lied to your children and you are not doing what God expects of you. You lose not only control of your children; you lose their love and respect, too. Praise your children for their efforts at cooperating with you and the rest of your family.

If you lose your cool the situation is likely to escalate and embarrass you both. There is a wealth of information on the internet. One helpful site is https://www.childwelfare.gov/preventing/supporting/resources/tempertantrums.cfm   

Lord God, as I correct my children like You have taught me, they give me comfort and delight my soul. (Proverbs 29:17) Thank you for Your love for us all. Please continue to guide and direct not only my children and grandchildren, but me, too, and give us Your wisdom and self control.

All scripture quoted from the New American Standard Bible (NASB) unless otherwise noted.

© 2013 by Mickey M. Hunacek. All rights reserved.