How To…Give Up Your Selfish Ways

Prayer – Lord, I know that my own selfish attitude—putting my own needs before others—keeps me from having a good relationship with You and with them. You told Your disciples and us that we needed to turn away from our selfish ways. Give it up! Help me to do just that. 

Then, calling the crowd to join his disciples, he said, "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me.” Mark 8:34

Meditate. Consider God’s guidance in scripture. What does your cross look like?

 

This same scripture passage in Mark 8:34 is in Luke 9:23, with the additional words of “daily” which specifies that this willingness to carry a cross is not a one-time event—but something we need to do every day. How do we “take up our cross?” Is it the same as giving up our selfishness? The “cross” represents the trouble and trials in our lives. Although Jesus has taken our sins upon Himself—to His very death on the cross—we still must take responsibility for the trials that come our way. Is our decision to be “selfish” giving into or even causing a turbulent time for us? I tried to think of a time I’d been selfish—just wanting my way—and except for maybe choosing a restaurant to go to I couldn’t think of any really selfish times…but did that cause troubles? Maybe some hurt feelings. I think I gave up “selfishness” so long ago that I’ve just forgotten that part of my character…my personality. I’m a people pleaser—generally trying to make or keep others happy and I’ll willingly give up my own time, talents and resources—including my own preferences—just to keep peace. Do you do that?

If you are wise and understand God's ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don't cover up the truth with boasting and lying. For jealousy and selfishness are not God's kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind. But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness. James 3:13-18

So, James gives us guidance from God that we shouldn’t cover up the facts with boasting. Pray for insight. First step in getting rid of selfishness from our lives is to be aware of selfish desires and behavior. Consider if you are really willing to changes. Once again—decision time. Then go forward in a positive way focusing on others and their needs. If you were in their shoes…how would you feel? Reach out to others, volunteering where and when you can to help them. Be grateful—which is stressed so much during November—thanking the Lord for the awareness that He has brought into your life and the opportunity to change. Change is never easy, but where the Lord is involved, it is worth it.

 

Some of the benefits of giving up selfishness and helping others include reducing your own loneliness, combatting depression, increasing resilience to stress, making new friends, creating higher self-esteem, and increasing happiness. All of these will help build better relationships with God and with others.

 

Verse of Salvation ~ "For in just a little while, the Coming One will come and not delay. And my righteous ones will live by faith. But I will take no pleasure in anyone who turns away." But we are not like those who turn away from God to their own destruction. We are the faithful ones, whose souls will be saved. Hebrews 10:37-39

 

© 2023 Text, photos, and illustrations by Mickey M. Hunacek. All rights reserved. 

All scripture quoted from the New Living Translation (NLT) unless otherwise noted. 

New Living Translation copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. 

Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Biblical search from Blue Letter Bible - http://v3.blueletterbible.org/search.cfm. 

 

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